Ernie’s Bar & Grill at PGA WEST

THERE’S SOMETHING inherently satisfying about a restaurant like Ernie’s Bar & Grill at PGA WEST’S Tournament Clubhouse in La Quinta. Not necessarily for the food and drink — which are actually quite well sourced and executed — but for the opportunity to watch golfers sink or swim at the finishing hole of the Nicklaus Course (or the Palmer 9th). Nothing like gloating over others’ frustrations whilst sipping a cold one and nibbling on Korean chicken wings.

I must admit to needing sustenance and revenge recently after a brutal encounter with Pete Dye’s Stadium Course, which was built to order in 1986 by visionary developers who asked the architect to create “the hardest damn golf course in the world.” Like asking a demon to whip up a hurricane, Pete designed a layout with “more water than fairway, more sand than putting surface and the deepest greenside bunker this side of Mars.” Degree of difficulty? Don’t even ask.

But all my pain and suffering were erased from short-term memory courtesy of Ernie’s, where I sampled a gut-busting array of comestibles and designer cocktails in the name of research and payback. Seated on the terrace and enjoying the panoramic views, it was time to join the well-coiffed locals and club members and just take it all in from a safe distance. And why not start with “Pete’s Dye-Abolical Caesar” cocktail, a concoction combining Grey Goose vodka with Clamato and horseradish with a celery salt rim. That’s my kind of salad, and it paired exceedingly well with those spicy Korean BBQ wings.

“Does your golf course have its own signature bacon? If not, you have my sympathies”

Those who choose to dine in the capacious (if somewhat noisy) indoor room can still enjoy the view, but snagging a table outside is the way to go, especially when the punishing sunlight starts to sink in the west. I thought we’d start out on the light side by splitting Ernie’s Cobb salad, which proved to be enough food for an entire foursome and was expertly prepared, with tart blue cheese crumbles aplenty offset by sweet cherry tomatoes. And of course, there were bacon crumbles, which deserve a separate shout-out: a lunch item called “PGA WEST Signature Bacon” is served with jalapeño aioli and pepper flakes and is as lethally good as it sounds. Does your golf course have its own signature bacon? If not, you have my sympathies.

Being a proud pizza freak (like who isn’t?), I rolled the dice on Ernie’s Margherita pie and was pleasantly surprised by its cracker-crispy crust and fresh buffalo mozzarella, aptly adorned by basil leaves and Roma tomatoes. Ordered up the Wagyu burger with arugula and pepper jack cheese next — augmented by a tomato marmalade on a brioche bun — and made it disappear like David Blaine, without benefit of mirrors or droopy sleeves. The burger was perfectly cooked, as were the crispy French fries.

Time to cry uncle? Like no way! Howzabout the Brittany Crepes Flambe’ with orange marmalade, orange liqueur and vanilla bean cream to finish off the 18,000-calorie round? Yes indeedy, and it was as good as it looked, rich and crisp with the right sweet and sour accent from the marmalade.

Ernie’s isn’t your grab-and-go, wrinkled-hot-dog golf joint, and prices are a little steep, but now that summer is here you can play the Dye Stadium Course for under $100 and call it a wash. Torture followed by comfort … that’s my idea of a desert day well spent.