FORE Magazine

Top Menu

  • About Me
  • Contact Us
  • Home

Main Menu

  • Current Issue
  • Digital Book
  • Profiles
  • Sustainability
  • Travel
  • 19th Hole
  • Classic Course
  • FORE Her
  • More
    • Know the Rules
    • Handicap Hints
    • SCGA Junior
    • Where Are They Now?
    • News
    • Public Affairs
Sign in / Join

Login

Welcome! Login in to your account
Lost your password?

Lost Password

Back to login

logo

FORE Magazine

  • Current Issue
  • Digital Book
  • Profiles
  • Sustainability
  • Travel
  • 19th Hole
  • Classic Course
  • FORE Her
  • More
    • Know the Rules
    • Handicap Hints
    • SCGA Junior
    • Where Are They Now?
    • News
    • Public Affairs
Spring 2021
Home›Issues›Spring 2021›Breaking Bad: A Lifelong Hack Breaks Par … Once

Breaking Bad: A Lifelong Hack Breaks Par … Once

By David Weiss
April 26, 2021
3067
0
Share:

Fifty years of black numbers later, I have finally broken par. At the fork-tender age of 68, I managed to card a 1-under 71: four birdies, three bogeys and a ho-hum collection of pars at Sepulveda Encino, from the blue tees. Let the record show that a perennial hack finally got revenge for decades of bad breaks, worse swings and numbers that would crash your average abacus.

Did I gloat afterwards, tell way too many golf buddies, my brothers and sisters and third-cousins alike? You bet. I gave drying paint a run for the roses when it came to boring people silly with news of my uncanny prowess on the turf. And then, alas, tomorrow came, as it ever seems wont to do. Bummer.

Cold reality quickly set up camp by the next morning. “You will never do it again, so why bother booking another tee-time?” a voice in my head whispered. “Take up the violin, do some charity work, grow some jalapenos. You won’t ever break par again, not if you live another 50 years.”

Trust me, I’ve been there and done that when it comes to fleeting athletic glory. Twenty-some years ago I was jarring three-pointers like pickles one morning at the local gym. Afterwards, a buddy said that my hot hand had been witnessed by “Coach,” a local legend who was there prepping high-school basketball stars for college tryouts. “He wanted to know where you played organized ball, and I told him nowhere — that you were like a musician or something.”

I later learned that my admirer, Wayne Slappy, had worked with none other than Kobe Bryant for many years. My humble head swelled up like a Macy’s float — that is, until that pesky inner voice butted in right on cue: “You just peaked, old-timer! Bronze the Air Jordans, hang ‘em on the mantel and tell your tallish tale by the fire forevermore. Your bell hath tolled.”

Let it be said that I kept hooping till it hobbled me, got my hip replaced and started golfing more, resulting in the — ahem — aforementioned round-of-alifetime. Unfortunately, Butch Harmon was not present to witness the selfdubbed “Dean of Encino” shatter par like a quail egg that fabled day. But I am quite sure he would have been shocked if not altogether awed.

And no, I haven’t broken 80 since, but I’m back like a bad bitcoin, for better or for worse. What am I supposed to do, take up shuffleboard?

Previous Article

Vanity Fare: Personalized Wedges Gaining In Popularity

Next Article

Babes Golf: A Social Club & More

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

David Weiss

Related articles More from author

  • Classic CourseSpring 2021

    A Moorpark Miracle

    April 27, 2021
    By Joe Passov
  • Spring 2021

    The Greatest Show on Earth: Reliving Tiger’s Miraculous 2008 U.S. Open Win

    April 27, 2021
    By John Strege
  • Golf GroupsSpring 2021

    LGBTQ Golf: Untapped Gold Under the Rainbow

    April 27, 2021
    By Judd Spicer
  • EquipmentSpring 2021

    Vanity Fare: Personalized Wedges Gaining In Popularity

    April 26, 2021
    By Scott Kramer
  • Spring 2021

    The U.S. Open Setup: A Q&A With The USGA’s Jeff Hall

    April 23, 2021
    By Tom Mackin
  • Know the RulesSpring 2021

    Famous Rulings at Torrey Pines

    April 26, 2021
    By Jimmy Becker

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Recent Posts

  • FeaturedIn The ClubhouseSpring 2025

    Original Wonder Woman

  • FeaturedHandicap HintsIn The ClubhouseSpring 2025

    Fun & Games

  • FeaturedOn The TeeSpring 2025

    Club Spotlight

  • FeaturedIn The ClubhouseSpring 2025

    John Henebry

  • Core MissionFeaturedKnow the RulesSpring 2025

    Rule 25

FeaturedIn The ClubhouseSpring 2025

John Henebry

A Personal Remembrance Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2025. A ballroom at Desert IslandCC in the Coachella Valley pocket of Rancho Mirage. The “Celebration of Life” for my dear friend, my colleague, ...
  • Fun & Games

    By Kevin O'Connor
    May 15, 2025
  • Rule 25

    By Jimmy Becker
    May 15, 2025
  • Doing More With Less

    By Kevin Fitzgerald
    May 15, 2025
  • Original Wonder Woman

    By Joe Passov
    May 15, 2025
© 2016 FORE Magazine About Us | Contact Us | Advertise